live a page-turner;
leave a legacy.
It's a slogan.
Or a tagline, maybe. I don't know.
It's an easy thing to say to inspire someone else.
It's an inspiring thing to hear, when it's something you want to hear. Or when it's something you are ready to hear.
But if you are the "somebody else" and you aren't ready to hear it but you need to hear it, it isn't inspiring or easy. Just maybe necessary.
This coming month I have decided to be on both sides of this equation: The person saying it and the someone else. I'm two people. By that, I mean I'm both people.
(Yes I have issues.)
(Yes, you have seen me talk to myself at stoplights.)
April is my birth month. I've decided to give myself a gift that will take the entire month to unwrap. If this sounds selfish, rest assured, it is. If it sounds like a month-long celebration, rest assured that I hope it turns out that way. It is kind of exciting. But mostly, it is necessary.
So I read a quote recently and it goes like this:
"20 years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than the ones you did do."
I'd like to go on the record, because I am old enough to, and say that there have been dreams on my heart, 20-or-so-year-old-dreams, that I could have tried, but didn't.
"Why not?" you ask.
I have a million reasons. Most of them, justifiably valid. And risky.
For my 44th Birthday, I have decided to give myself permission.
Permission to take risks. Permission to fail. Permission to admit failure.
Permission to be afraid. Permission to do things afraid.
Permission to be a true friend. Permission to let down my guard as a friend. Permission to be unfiltered. Permission to be authentically me. Who I am today.
Permission to put hands and feet to my faith--to take my faith outside of the safety of church walls.
Permission to have fun. For the sake of fun.
Permission to feel. All the feels. Even the sucky-uncomfortable-I'd-rather-not feels.
For my birthday month, I've given myself permission to step outside of my comfort zone. Every area I "plan" on stepping out is actually not an unusual thing...but my reaction will be quite foreign.
Who wants to travel with me?
So just to be clear, the "right" thing isn't any more right than what I've been doing. I'm just giving myself permission to take some risks and see how this whole "gut" thing pans out.
Because I've been alive long enough to know that 20 years can make a big difference. I'd rather just try...even if it is only for one month of one year of my life.
Thank you Mark Twain.
That's My Story.